HUSH - Book - Page 38
HUSH – Breaking the Silence | Victim Support Scotland
I read on Facebook at teatime on a Saturday that a road
was closed because a body had been found and thought
nothing else of it.
I was at home, sitting watching the TV, and my son,
James, was upstairs playing Xbox. It was a weekend, so we
were up a bit later than normal. Then, at 12:30 that night, I
had a chap at the door. You start panicking because it's
late, so I looked out of my hall window first and there were
two uniformed police o cers at my door. I answered and
they asked me if I knew Cameron and proceeded to tell me
that he'd been found dead.
I had to then break the news to my son. I said to him to
come downstairs, and he was panicking because he knew
the police had been in. I told him that his dad had been
found dead, and he just crumbled to the floor.
It was 1 o'clock at this point. It took me until 5:45 in the
morning to get James to his bed and finally drift off to
sleep, but he only slept a couple of hours. He was tying
himself up in knots that he hadn't been to see his dad
recently. We spoke about him all night. He said his dad had
wanted a song at his funeral, but he couldn't remember
what the song was, so he was getting really annoyed with
himself. He was crying and talking about things that he'd
not be able to do with him now. It was a horrible night.
I spent the Sunday letting people know and, every two
minutes, checking in on my son.
The CID came out. One of the CID o cers made me feel
really uncomfortable. They were asking me all sorts of
questions about Cameron. Personal questions that only I
would know. I went to say something to her, and she put her
hand near me and gestured for me to be quiet. After that, I
didn't want her in my house.
James was up the stairs in his room, so I kept saying to
her every five minutes, "I'm just going to check on him." I
said to her, "I can't really do this today. My son needs me,
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and he's sitting up there with himself because you're in."
There wasn't compassion. They just wanted to do their job,
but they wouldn't give me time to deal with my son.
After that, I was told that Family Liaison O cers would
come and see me. They were really nice. They would come
and see me every day. A couple of days later, they turned up
at the door at 8:30 in the morning. They came in and said
that they had arrested someone for murder. It went from
Saturday night to Thursday before they actually confirmed
that they were even looking at murder.
So that was the first few days of our lives. It was just
one big blur. James wasn't sleeping. It was at most a few
hours a night, just waiting up, crying constantly.
James had been asking to see his dad's body. I didn't
want him to see him, but he kept going on about it. I spoke
to the school psychologist for some help, just because I
didn't know what to do. They said, "you need to give him the
option. If he wants to see him, take him, but tell him your
concerns before you go."
The school psychologist said he might take it out on me
later on if I didn't let him go, so I gave him the options and I
told him my concerns. A couple of hours later he came to
me and said, "I'm not going to go," which was a massive
relief.
‘You start panicking because
it’s late, so I looked out of my hall
window first and there were two
uniformed police o cers at
my door.’