American River Review 2022 - copy - Flipbook - Page 35
Wiggly?”
Ma foofed her hair again, curled
and curled a ruby strand around her
finger the way I imagine she done as
a young girl. “Imagine that. Me. Owning my own Piggly Wiggly. I’m telling
you Bug. It’d be steak and champagne
every night.”
Ma started humming one of Gram’s
old-timey songs. Pastor Rich, back
when we was still church-going folk,
used to say she had the voice of an
angel, which would have been right
nice if he didn’t always linger on the
top button of her blouse.
Her singing fell like soft, cozy puffs
in the truck, like she was doing her
best to ease the hurt Gram’s dying left
behind. I hadn’t heard that lullaby
voice of hers in years. But the more
she sang, the more she got to thinking and I could feel them dark waters
churning a bit below the surface, like
they sensed a storm about to split the
sky open.
“Grandpa’s death was quite the
surprise, don’t you think Bug?”
“Sure was,” I said, biting the inside
of my bottom lip to keep any other
words from spilling out.
“Too much liquor and not enough
good sense. You remember that, Bug,
when you get older and start drinking. Grandpa had no business hanging out on that ridge.” She flicked her
eyes in my direction, away from the
road, long enough to test me.
“I won’t forget, Ma,” I said, knowing at least that much was true.
Blaze (never could cotton to calling
him Grandpa) had been a handsome
man and like most men of that ilk,
he wasn’t around much. Off tom-catting or gambling, to hear Gram tell
it. The handful of times I seen him,
dressed to the nines and smelling
like honeysuckle, I figured Gram for
right. Him never being around suited
me fine. He’s the reason they call me
Bug. Used to push me around, knock
me down steps and the like. Sometimes I’d have a hard time getting
up, on account of the mud and what
not. One day, he started talking about
them roly poly bugs. Tip ‘em on their
back and they’ll stay there for days.
That’s what you are, junior. A fat bug
that can’t get up. The name stuck and
even though I hate it, it sounds sweet
when Ma says it.
About six months or so ago, Blaze
showed up, worse for wear. Front
tooth missing, beard growing in
patchy, wicked cut over his left eye.
Gram was often too sick and Ma was
often too mad to pay much mind to
him, but he ordered me around like
a dog. Run down to the 7-11 and pick
me up some whiskey. He’d grab his cigar box from under the mattress and
pull out a twenty-dollar bill, act like
he was fixing to give it to me. When
I’d remind him that I ain’t old enough
to buy liquor, he’d say, “C’mon now.
You could hide five, six of them tiny
bottles between them rolls. Hell,
you could fit an entire six pack, Fat
Boy, and no one would be the wiser.”
Then he’d cackle, snatch the twenty
back and tell me to roll on over to the
store.
“Aw shit,” Ma said, as she rolled
the truck window down, ash about to
drop from the cig in her right hand.
If Ma had been going on like she
always did about how I ain’t filled the
dirt holes and how them dirt holes
was wrecking the truck, I didn’t hear
it. But I did see Ryker’s pickup parked
across the front of the house like he
owned the place.
“Thought you broke up with him,
Ma. You said—”
“I know what I said, Bug.” She
turned the car off and sat with both
hands on the steering wheel, arms
straight like she was bracing for a
crash. She closed her eyes and let out
one long breath that lasted so long it
made her cheeks color.
Ryker came flying out the front
door, flannel shirt unbuttoned and
flapping, jeans slung low over them
pointy hips. His stringy hair hung
in ropes like he ain’t washed it for
weeks. His lip curled up on one side,
a junkyard dog fixing to strike.
“Knew I should’ve changed the
locks. Stay here, ya hear?” Ma said.
Her hand rested on the door
handle for what seemed like forever
before she flung it open wide and
stepped out.
“Hey Ryker. Wasn’t expecting
you—”
“Guess who come to see me. Guess.”
Ryker was nose to nose with Ma now,
spittle spraying. “Guess!”
Ma dropped her cigarette in the
mud, squished it with her shoe and
held Ryker’s eyes with that power she
has over most men. She pulled the
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