American River Review 2022 - copy - Flipbook - Page 68
Sestina for Mom
Cathy Arellano
I didn’t know how I was going to survive
a second death after eviction
all I had were her treasures, her records
I searched for her at the grave
she was gone so quickly from our city
erased from history
she had been my key to survival
I searched for her across our city
so vibrant until the eviction
before that one-month hospital room of a grave
chart at end of bed with haunting record
three causes listed on death record
black type white paper no clear story
“Mom, we love you” on her grave
no mention of needing her to survive
the devastation of the eviction
that pushed us to the edges of our city
on borrowed time in our city
I played her boxes of records
re-played the eviction
marked memories onto paper to save history
was just trying to survive
wondered if she knew about her upcoming visit to her grave
pulled myself from our grave
left our city
BART became home of my survival
each time I played her records
a new warped history
that wouldn’t be evicted
the shame of our eviction
she took to her grave
is part of my history
stands like a street sign in the middle of our city
scratched across all of her records
but with me she survives
each time I return to our city
I celebrate her in record
build another layer of our survival
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