ARR 1988 - Flipbook - Page 38
The Prop
"Oh, Mother," whines Lisa, "Can you not see I love Bart? With or
without your blessing, I will marry him!" Her whole body jerks back in what
appears to be a dramatic gesture. The audience tries in vain not to snicker.
Once, somebody mistakenly told Lisa she could act, and she believed it. She's
having fun, though, and I guess that's why I got into this, too.
One fine summer morning, I believe it was during a particularly
inspiring sunrise, I suddenly realized I wanted to act. So off I went to the
local community theater to offer my yet-to-be-discovered talents. A script
was carefully selected by the cast, one that would cover up all our shortcomings. We rehearsed for a couple of months until we had the lines down. I don't
know what inspires people to come watch local, second-rate actors like
ourselves; I imagine it's a conversation something like this.
"Hey, darling," the bored husband says to his equally bored wife, "I
wonder what they're putting on at the community theater tonight?"
"I don't know, but it's got to be better than what's on T.V." And off they
go for an evening of unintended laughs.
My cue is coming up soon. I wait off stage just to the right out of the
audience's view. I'm not the tense type, but openings bring in enough
butterflies for everyone's stomachs. All I have to do to send them off is say
to myself, "God calm my heart." It works every time. I'm a little apprehensive about trying it tonight, though. I'd hate to ruin a perfect track record.
"He is a beast, Mimi," bellows her tall, overdressed stage-father. "If
you marry him you will spend your whole life in misery." CYou tell her!)
"I must marry him," Mimi continues to whine. Lisa is really getting
into her part now. "/ cannot tell you why, but I must! Oh, oh, oh!"
The play is standard melodrama; We meet a typical all-American
family, father out of work, mother eight months pregnant (a detail established only through dialogue--eensorship still reigns in American theater),
and their teenage daughter Mimi does not want to marry the high school
quarterback. And as if that wasn't enough, they're all on the verge of eviction
by-get this-the quarterback. By the end of the play Father will land a very
promising job as president of a large corporation, Mother will have a baby
behind the couch, Mimi will get her man (me, the kind-hearted bench
warmer), and the evil quarterback will rip up the eviction notice. All in
twenty minutes time. True drama.
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