GL MakingRoom 2020 Digital - Flipbook - Page 12
STARS
Lisa Sanders
All of us at some point have or will experience life moments which can be very stressful and
overwhelming. Additionally, some may struggle with certain emotions such as fear, anxiety,
depression and anger that accompany those moments. Whether a minor challenge (i.e. rough
work day) or major crisis (i.e. relationship issue), these situations pose an opportunity to act
in a manner that is juxtaposed to godly character, and in the long run, might create an even
bigger problem. While we cannot always control our circumstances, we can learn ways to deal
with issues in a healthier, more responsible manner.
One such strategy I teach as a counselor is the STARS method. When followed sequentially,
these steps can be highly effective for emotional regulation and coping.
S-Stop and do a healthy, self-soothing activity such as taking a walk, praying, listening to
music, or a hobby. Pausing and engaging in this activity will buy you.
T-Time to de-escalate, cool off, or calm yourself. Once this occurs you will be in a better
frame of mind to
A- Assess the situation. This is an extremely important step as it allows for time to self
reflect and discern what is truly going on. When assessing, don’t allow pride to hinder you
from admitting any role you might have played in creating or contributing to the problem (i.e.
escalating the argument--ouch, I know that may have stepped on some toes). A complete
and honest assessment will allow you to
R-Respond versus react.
The major difference between the two is that a reaction is usually
impulsive and can yield negative consequences whereas a response is oriented towards
problem solving and resolution. Depending on the circumstance, response can range from
taking an action such as apologizing after a conflict or simply being still. A proper response
can boost positivity and reduce tension and stress.
When all of these steps are followed it should bring
S-Serenity. While the circumstance may not change, serenity is a sense of balance or calm in
the midst of what is going on. When we are serene, we can perform better and be postured
in alignment with God’s will and purpose for us.
GOOD Life