2020 Gumbo Final - Book - Page 131
caroline
“There were times when I questioned what my purpose here
was. Am I even supposed to be here? Especially in the worst
times, I would think what if my purpose is to just not be here
at all. For me, counseling has been a huge part of being
better and I think sometimes people get scared of that. I’m a
Christan. I’m not super overwhelmed by my religion but it’s
definitely something that’s played a huge role in my life. With
depression comes suicidal thoughts and having to overcome
self harm. Everyone goes through their hard times and
self harm comes in all kinds of different forms for different
people. I always try to encourage other people to open their
hearts when they are struggling. It’s just finding that faith. It’s
believing that there is something bigger than me and having
faith that my God will see me through it all. Sometimes it’s
hard to praise him when you’re at the peak but it’s super
easy to turn to him when you’re in the valley. My mom always
told me growing up, “You don’t have to open a door. You
just have to crack a window and God will do the rest.” After
everything I’ve overcome, I know I’m called to be a disciple
and to share that unwavering, unordained, unconditional
love. It’s not about being perfect and it’s not about being the
best at everything. Through your mistakes and through your
struggles, it’s just sharing your experiences with people and
letting his light be seen through you. It was so much of just
learning to accept myself and knowing that my worth doesn’t
come from worldly things and that my worth never changes
no matter what happens on this Earth. Once you have that
confidence and that solid foundation that your worth comes
from above, it changes everything.”
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