Jumpline magazine January 2024 - Flipbook - Page 19
Eric De Armas
City of Miami Dept. of Fire Rescue
The Phoenix Group of Local 1403
Another Satis昀椀ed
Customer: How The
Phoenix Group
Impacted My Life
My name is Eric De Armas and I’ve been with
the City of Miami Fire Department for 19 years,
and what a ride it has been so far. For many of
us, the job is much more than your typical nine
to 昀椀ve “clock in-n-clock out” type of job. We have
developed relationships in the 昀椀rehouse that have
competed with relationships within our own family. This
was very much the case for me. I have been fortunate enough
to experience the true meaning of “brotHERhood” and what it
means to pay it forward. The experience of overcoming my demons was not accomplished on a solo 昀氀ight. It was, and still is
a continuing “team” process; a daily reprieve that I must attend
to if I never want to go back to the horrors of active addiction.
Six and half years ago I found myself in a place that I can only
describe as a bottomless pit; a dark hopeless reality where I
felt had no answers. This is the story of how I became a proud
member of the Phoenix Group.
I never considered myself to be an addict because I had no
idea what an addict was. I knew I used alcohol and drugs excessively, but I told myself it was a reward system. I deserved it
because of all the trauma I saw throughout my career and that
it was necessary in order to cope. How could I be an addict if I
work for the 昀椀re department? I’m not the person living under a
bridge nor am I like the patients we would run on over the years.
That was my thought process, the wall of denial. My use began
to affect my life in so many ways. In my experience, addiction
was progressive over the years and as I look back, I can see the
increase in my alcohol and drug use. It started with being late
for work, then missing entire shifts because I was in no shape
to come in for my duty day. My sick time was running on fumes
and when I would feel the pressure of administration coming
down on me, I would dodge the bullet and ask for help before I
could face disciplinary actions. At the same time, many of my
fellow 昀椀re昀椀ghters didn’t have a clue what to do with me. They
gave me a lot of tough love, hid me from my superiors, and
even covered shifts for me when I was on my binges. During
all of this, I managed to get promoted to Captain and I found my
addiction was at its worst. How could I have everything I have
ever wanted and still not be able to control my use? This baf昀氀ed
me. I was completely powerless. Addiction usually ends in one
of three ways: 1) jails, 2) institutions, or 3) death. Twice I found
myself in emergency rooms close to the brink. My career was in
shambles and my home life was almost destroyed. Something
had to change. I surrendered on April 22nd, 2017.
I spent 45 days at the IAFF Center of Excellence in Upper
19
Marlborough, Maryland and the experience I had was
extremely positive. I found other people just like me.
I found 昀椀re昀椀ghters who were struggling with the
same issues I had. When we were not in groups,
we would sit outside, smoke cigars and share
our experiences. The bonds I had built there
with 昀椀re昀椀ghters from across the United States
are still strong to this day. This is when I realized that I wanted to be part of a group like
this when I got home. A true to heart saying
that I believe in is, “The therapeutic value of one
addict helping another is without parallel.” This
meant that I was able to recover better when I was
around individuals who shared my af昀氀iction. I 昀椀nally
came home and decided I was going to help other 昀椀re昀椀ghters
in my department who may have struggles with substance or
alcohol abuse. I was going to form a group like I had when I
was in Maryland. My group sessions were not well attended,
and I lost hope of ever getting something like this to take off.
Four years into my recovery, I stumbled upon a friend who knew
MDFR Captain Doug Keller, a founding member of the Phoenix
Group. My friend informed me that there was a group of 昀椀re昀椀ghters getting together once a week to discuss ways how they
can live life without the use of drugs and alcohol. I had found
exactly what I was looking for.
I joined the Phoenix Group in the Spring of 2021, and I haven’t
looked back since. The joy and bene昀椀ts I get when meeting
with my fellow 昀椀re昀椀ghters can best be described as a spiritual
awakening. Here comes this City guy joining with MDFR members who welcomed me like I was one of their brothers. This
is when I realized that we were just a group of 昀椀re昀椀ghters living
this way of life. No matter what department we came from, all
were welcomed. Today we have several members from the City
of Miami and have reached out to other department’s unions to
spread the word about this amazing group. The Phoenix Group
offers the same camaraderie you 昀椀nd at your 昀椀rehouse. It offers
an outlet for individuals like us, who have struggled with drugs
and alcohol, to continue being the best we can be through sharing and solidarity. We are completely anonymous, and we pride
ourselves in our con昀椀dentiality. I am sharing my experiences
with other 昀椀re昀椀ghters with the hopes that there is an individual
out there who can 昀椀nd the same peace I have found in my life.
I am a satis昀椀ed customer of the Phoenix Group. I found exactly
what helps me, and I continue to reap the spiritual bene昀椀ts the
group has to offer. If you’re struggling with substance abuse or
alcohol addiction and you feel absolutely frightened to let anyone know about it, just know that we are here for you. You are
not alone, and you never have to live this way ever again. We
welcome you without prejudice or judgment.
If you or someone you know in the 昀椀re service is struggling
with alcohol or substance abuse issues, please contact us.
phoenixgroup@local1403.org
January 2024 | JUMPLINE Magazine