ST Healing Love-IntoBalance October2022 - Flipbook - Page 19
The worst thing I’ve ever done is not fully honoring my own resilience the last
46 years of my life. I grew up as an “underdog.” I was a short, chubby, socially
awkward, colorblind Chinese American kid. I was constantly bullied. I was also the
oldest son/grandson of a large Chinese immigrant family and was never
able to meet the expectations of being a “good son.”
I got politicized and I became very active in high school. I organized a “Malcolm X and
MLK Jr. Unity” Day for the entire school. Since my school was mostly white and Asian,
the white kids were angry and attacked me with racial slurs. I became a true underdog,
a “Angry Asian man” with something to say and prove - ALL the time. But through the
years this also hurt me in unimaginable ways. I used drinking as a way to cope and
“power through.” I isolated myself and became a martyr full of resentment and anger.
Even after 30+ years, this old story/narrative of me creeps up. Why? Because
being an underdog has served me well… I have helped to win major campaigns,
co-founded many organizations and developed the next generation of
organizers. Zooming out, I know that I am not that “underdog” but what does
that mean for my identity? What drives me?
—Alex Tom
The inverse is also real. When we deny our abundant energy, joy, natural gifts and talents, we rob the
world of our unique value. Ever notice how uncomfortable it may feel to stand in front of an applauding,
supportive, affirming crowd? When we show up authentically and are noticed by others, we often shy
away from being fully seen, appreciated and honored. Why is that? How might we bring more balance
to how we see ourselves by trusting how others see us?
When we’re able to stand in our own light, unconditionally love and accept ourselves as we are, not who
others want us to be, we can stand a bit taller. When we shine, everything we’re about rises with us.
Let’s not shrink to what dominant culture wants to see: being diminished, unsure, insecure, but showing
up as best as we’re able to be at every moment.
Healing Love: Into Balance | A Brown Paper
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