ST Healing Love-IntoBalance October2022 - Flipbook - Page 34
What if we were to see all of our interpersonal relationships as opportunities to become more fully human?
And what if we saw becoming more fully human as the
necessary work of building a more just world?
A pivot toward this mindset of mutuality may be the
container we need to both inspire as well as hold
and nurture our individual and collective healing and
transformation processes. In this way, we would see
our family members, friendships, and relationships
with colleagues as sacred. We would allow our
relationships to reveal to us our strengths as well as
those qualities that keep us separate from others.
Shadow parts of us
serve a function.
The work is for us to
call them close, love
them, acknowledge
them. Shadows, at
times, blindside us
because they bide
for our attention
and love.
In seeing ourselves more clearly, we could consciously
engage in composting (or transforming) the qualities
that have become barriers to being in a healthy
relationship to all. This approach is a pivot away
from judgment of what we don’t like in ourselves,
and instead seeing them as the nutrients for the
qualities we do want to grow in ourselves, and in
our relationships. As Brene Brown has asserted, “What
stands in the way becomes the way.” By looking into, as
opposed to denying, the walls we put up, we deepen
our connection to ourselves, become more open, more
vulnerable. There is often a reason, something that has happened in the past, either to us or our ancestors,
that has caused us to erect these walls. What was it that happened? What wisdom is there in the walls
we put up between ourselves and others? How can we deconstruct our walls and reuse the wisdom and
experience they are made of in other ways, to build bridges perhaps?
In allowing others to be a mirror for us to more clearly see our strengths, our fears, the walls we have
erected, some questions we may ask ourselves:
• What ancestors, qualities, or spiritual icons from my lineage can I call forward to protect, guide, and
support me in seeing myself more clearly and composting that which is not serving me?
• What clutter can I clear in my life to be able to more fully see and connect with myself and others?
• What gifts have I been given that I can share with others?
• What walls have I erected to protect myself from others?
• What happened that caused me to erect these walls?
• What wisdom and insight do these walls hold?
• When are we willing to drop defenses and allow vulnerability?
• What can happen when we do?
• How does this willingness enable us to come alive? Does it?
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Healing Love: Into Balance | A Brown Paper