Boisdale Life Magazine (Issue 20) - Flipbook - Page 45
He’d have to plant enough trees to cover
half of Asia to offset that.
Ivana. Her dress falls to the ground as
she stands naked in front of Bond.
We could have such a good time
together... You know what I need!
E X P E R I E N C E
T H E
U L T I M A T E
I know you’re freezing, Ivana, but I can’t
possibly turn up the thermostat. It’s set
at 16 degrees already. I can lend you an
Aztec poncho and Peruvian knitted hat
to keep you warm, if you like.
That is so insulting!
Forgive me. You’re right. Offering you
that clothing is obviously shocking
cultural appropriation. I do apologise.
It’s almost as bad as when I was
hideously disrespectful towards those
of small stature by locking Nick-Nack
in a suitcase, and hanging him from
the mast of a yacht.
BOISDALE OF BELGRAVIA
BOISDALE OF MAYFAIR
BOISDALE OF CANARY WHARF
BOISDALE OF BISHOPSGATE
Upset, Ivana runs into the bathroom.
The telephone rings.
VOICE ON PHONE
This is for your ears only... SPECTRE
has infiltrated the House of Commons.
Ernst Stavro Blofeld is now Speaker.
Admittedly he’s proving far more
popular than the previous bloke, but
M wants you back now.
Blofeld, the cunning swine. No offence
to pigs, or any faith that has porcine
issues, of course. I’m on my way.
VOICE ON PHONE
It’s all arranged. Get the tram to the
docks, a hot air balloon across the
Straits, and a bike to the train station
where a rickshaw will bring you across
Europe. Then row across the Channel.
See you in three months.
OVER END CREDITS:
James Bond will return in “The Spy
Who Loved Me... And Showed It By
Respecting Me In The Morning And
Calling Me The Next Day, As Promised”
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