Framlinghamian 2022 - Flipbook - Page 268
SOF | OF SPORT: RIFLE CLUB
Rifle Club
THE OLD FRAMLINGHAMIAN RIFLE CLUB’S POST-COVID ADVENTURES
OW! MY EYES! THE OFS ARE FINALLY
“As long as we’re outside, there’s only six
BACK AT BISLEY
in a group, you are wearing a mask and
socially dist….” Fade to stage left.
Blinking, we stumbled into the gleaming
April sunlight like miners emerging from
We are here. At Bisley. At last. To shoot
a long shift in a deep shaft. We wiped
competitively, in the annual Q-Match
the dust from our eyes and stared in
against four teams of Old Boys, for the
wonderment at the sprawling green range
first time since we thought Covid-19 was
in front of us – its wind flags bobbing
a character in Dr Who. The excitement is
enthusiastically in the spring breeze like
tangible.
children in front of the ice-cream van. It
was a sight as welcome as a hot dog stall
We take stock. There are the usuals:
at a vegan folk music festival.
James Plastic Jock Mehta, John
O’Charlatan, Shiver-me-Kimbers Pope,
The skipper breaks the silent awe.
Red Leader Ford, Nigel The guv’nor
“Fss muk mk a sutt foazoommb muvy.”
Burnip, Jon Bafta Thorp, The Spreadsheet
“Take your mask off Kim,” says Jon Red
and Steve Tantrum McDowell. We
Leader Ford, being, as he is, the sensible
welcome back two old friends. Jeff ‘We
one.
have a problem’ Houston and Neil ‘I’m
“Ahem,” says the OFRC skipper lowering
much too old for this’ Joy. He’s only 86,
her mask (by Pierre Cardin, obvs). “I said:
we don’t accept that excuse – OFs call it
This looks like a set from a zombie movie.”
character building.
“Well, we’ve got the guns,” chips
in Mohammad Al Nutjob Bin John
Also, there are ringers -ahem. The Old
FitzHalahan (aka O’Charlatan).
Framlinghamians RC being, as it is, an
The shambling horde of 12 riflepersons
‘open’ club, it is not actually necessary
of the Old Framlinghamian RC survey
to have been a student at the College
the scene, wistful smiles revealed as they
to compete with the club (except in the
remove assorted face masks like satisfied
Veterans). Thus, shooting friends whose
highwaymen.
connection to the College is that their
“And the caff is open so we can have
cousin’s next-door-neighbour’s cat once
bacon sarnies,” chips up Jimmy The
defecated on the Brandeston Hall cricket
Spreadsheet Overbury. Jimmy is the Hon
square can get to be in the team. It is
Sec – his legendary organisational skills
this loose definition of ethnic qualification
and attention to detail showing through.
which makes Halahan and Pope, Irish,
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