Gay London Life | April '24 Edition - Magazine - Page 46
Topher
Talks
were not relaxed, were not prepared
adequately, had not anal douched
(see last month’s column – or read
my VERY detailed free douching
1. Begin with small sex toys.
guide only website), or just were
I think that introducing small
not sexually compatible with their
anal toys is the best way to
partner.
begin. And SMALL toys. I always
I am not a huge fan of throwing
Happy April! Some
acknowledge this month for
Spring, some for Easter, some
for Aries and Taurus season…
but did you also know that April
hosts a very important holiday
(in my mind,anyway): WORLD
ANAL DAY, which lands on
April 18 th . Talk about a midmonth treat right?
So, I wanted to give
5 tips to you:
recommend almost patronising
statistics around, as I find with
yourself with how small
sexuality that everyone’s personal
something is. A small butt-plug
experience is relevant to them and
will do just fine.
to their preferences. BUT there are
some statistics with anal that I think
2. Anal training
are worth addressing Mainly, to
As above, begin with the small
acknowledge that LOTS of people
plug, use it regularly and
do it (or want to) and LOTS of people
eventually begin to move it
find it very pleasurable.
around, thrust it, ‘kneel’ on it and
Did you know that roughly 34%
rock, etc. THEN move up to the
of adults have had anal sex of some
next size and again, give it the
sort? And this is just the number
time and focus it needs until it
that admit it. And in a growingly
feels totally comfy. Repeat until
Time to jump from Easter Eggs to
intermediates, for vers-curious-tops,
puritanical culture, a world full
the sensations feel relaxed. You
Love Eggs. Or dildos, dicks, plugs,
and those who have tried it; either
of ‘discreet’ players, and a huge
can get anal-training-butt-plug-
XXL ass-destroyers, etc. Whatever
unsuccessfully or found it painful/
number of people who feel shame
kits from most sex shops. And
floats your booty-boat. I know you
uncomfortable and decided that
for having anal– we know this
eventually, wear before anal sex
are probably thinking “Topher,
it was not for them. I am such a bit
number is much higher. The reason
to relax yourself prior to play.
take a fucking day off from talking
believer in ‘trying again’ with anal, as
this statistic is important, is that it
about anal!” but no – its my job. So,
every-single-time that I have spoken
highlights that people do want to try
3. Douche with warm water
for this month’s column I wanted
to someone who has tried it and
butt stuff – and they are!
This is a great way to relax those
to address anal play for beginners,
disliked it – it has been because they
From surveys taken in the USA,
72.6% of people with prostates,
tender internal spots and help to
relax muscles.
orgasm often or ALWAYS with anal
sex. This is around 52.3% for people
4. Communication &
with vulvas. These are some hefty
Compatibility
numbers, and they stand testament
Here is a double-C that’s more
to the fact that not only is anal fun,
important than Chanel. When
intimate, and great way to bond with
you eventually have anal with a
someone - they show that it feels
partner, make them aware of your
great and helps us reach orgasm in a
newbie or re-entry status. It’s so
unique and intensely satisfying way.
important to try new things with
Anyone who’s orgasm’ d from their
someone who not ONLY makes
penis or clitoris, whilst enjoying anal
you aroused, but makes you feel
will know what I am talking about.
comfortable and sexy. Do not
These statistics also show that you
settle on anything less.
do not need a prostate or anal to feel
fabulous.
From someone who is first
5. Do not depend on ‘extras’
Yes, I know that many people use
experience with anal play was with
recreational items and poppers
fingers and then a penis, let me tell
to relax themselves. Whilst this
you that this was not the best way
is a personal lifestyle choice, its
for ME to begin my journey. I did
not something I recommend. You
not enjoy anal until I was around
should never need to ‘distract
24-years-old. When in fact, it turned
from’ or ‘numb’ any sensations.
out I just was not sexually compatible
You need to know how it feels for
with my partner (the only one I had
multiple reasons.
had sex with, at that stage).
Some are lucky and enjoy it
46
Find my detailed Anal Guide for
from the get-go, but many do not
Beginners and Douching Guide
and its usually due to the ‘shock’
for Beginners at
to the system. Anal can feel painful
TopherTaylor.co.uk
if you are not preparing or doing it
Instagram @TopherTaylor
properly.
Twitter @HelloIamTopher