Blount and Beyond Online Magazine - Magazine - Page 120
1940s
1960s
Here at the House - By Emily Effler
I walked into the living room and saw Desitin on a table by the couch. There's no baby in diapers here,
so I was confused.
Me: "Who brought Desitin in here?"
Ellie: "Oh, that was me."
Me: "Why did you bring diaper cream into the living room?"
Ellie: "Wait... That's diaper cream?"
Me: "Yes... What did you use it for?"
Ellie: "My lips. It said 'skin protectant'!"
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Ivey went to big church tonight for the first time. This being kid #4, I was anticipating the wiggling, loud
whispering, whining, and wallerin' in the floor and wasn't surprised. What I *didn't* see coming was her
trying to pull the arm hair off the man in front of us and sneak-punching her brother in the face for funsies
during prayer. Those were new.
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My eyes had been open for maybe 45 seconds this morning when Ivey asked me, "Mama, why do we
got armpits?"
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At the park, waiting for a mom and kids to finish their turn at the water fountain,
I hear a man's voice behind me say, "Franson's drankin' the dawg water." I look down and see that a little
shirtless, cherub-faced 3-year-old boy with a mullet halfway down his back was, in fact, happily slurping up
water from the dog water bowl. Hands down, Franson is my favorite person I've encountered today.
"Franson's drankin' the dawg water" is my new thing now. I'm gonna say it randomly when I'm in a bad
mood so I can laugh.
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Here to pick on Ellie again. She's going to a black and white dance and needs dress shoes. Here are
her requirements:
No heels because they're uncomfortable. No flats because they rub the back of her feet. No sandals.
Must not be too ruffly, flowery, sparkly. Must not be ugly. Must be comfortable. Must be close-toed.
And my personal favorite- must also be "closed roof of the foot".