GetWisdom PaperturnSampler FINAL SinglePages - Flipbook - Page 112
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LIVING FOR WHAT REALLY MATTERS
up those around us—and, in the case of my brother and me, if we
want to move toward relational restoration—we must speak words
that give life. (Of course, Erik and I would roll our eyes and say lame
or backhanded compliments along the lines of “I like your hair” or
“Your face looks less stupid when you smile,” which of course thrilled
our parents.)
Whenever I think of speaking life over someone, I immediately
think of Donald Miller’s book Scary Close. As Donald struggled
through broken relationship after broken relationship, his friend Bob
Goff chose to love him well through his words:
“You don’t sound fine,” Bob said.
I’d have argued with him, but I was afraid he’d notice I
was slurring my words.
“You know what I’ve noticed about you, Don?” Bob said.
“What’s that, Bob?”
“I’ve noticed you’re good at relationships.”
I said nothing. I wasn’t sure I understood him correctly.
Then he said it again, right into the silence of the phone.
“You’re good at relationships, Don,” he repeated.
The truth is I hadn’t cried since I’d broken off the
engagement. Like I said, I’d gone numb. But as he said
those absurd words, something in me began to feel again
and all the pain of the season swelled up. I pulled the
phone from my ear, dropped my head on the desk, and
wept. And as I cried, Bob kept repeating, “Don, you’re
good at relationships. You’re still good at them. You’ve
always been good at them.”20
That’s the kind of mom, wife, friend I’d like to be. In our divided
culture, too often we find ourselves retreating to angry, defensive
words—and we forget about the transformative power of loving,
life-giving words.
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