GodsDesign Sampler FULLSAMPLER-compressed - Page 130



H ow F ar S hould I G o ?
another ­person—­these kinds of thoughts are natural, and to attempt
to suppress them is likely to lead to compulsive preoccupation with
them. We instead are talking about thoughts that go beyond noticing
the attractiveness of another person in order to indulge in fantasies
and preoccupations that misuse the person in your mind.
WHAT IS SEX?
Putting this all together, we want to argue first that the reason the
Bible says not to have sexual intercourse outside of marriage is to
protect you against being bonded or glued to someone you’re not
married to. Sexual intercourse provides that special kind of bonding.
People who don’t have sexual intercourse but engage in extensive sexual intimacy often experience some of this kind of bonding because they’re essentially sharing all of their bodies with others
as people do in sexual intercourse. Those who engage in intimate
touching and oral sex commonly find there’s very little left of their
bodies they haven’t shared.
If someone engages in full sexual ­intimacy—­particularly direct
touching of the genitals or oral s­ex—­that person is at risk of getting
the same sexually transmitted diseases that are transmitted through
sexual intercourse. Anytime the body’s sexual f­ luids—­semen or vaginal
­lubrication—­come in contact with another person, such transmission
can occur. With more teenagers engaging in oral sex, sexually transmitted diseases of the mouth are becoming more common. These possibilities support viewing sexual touching of all kinds as sexual intimacy.
Such sexual intimacy can be dangerous simply because people
who do it get very sexually excited, and when they’re excited they
don’t make good decisions. A teenager may feel confident that
she shouldn’t have intercourse, but if she begins to have greater
intimacy with her boyfriend, she may find herself thinking, This
is so exciting—I bet I can handle a bit more . . . and a bit more
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