GodsDesign Sampler FULLSAMPLER-compressed - Page 131



Facing the Facts
than that . . . Many teens who wind up having sexual intercourse
weren’t planning to do so before they began to be more and more
sexually intimate.
STRAIGHT ADVICE
Together, these principles suggest that it’s unwise for teenage couples
to engage in sexual intimacy. When a couple becomes more sexually
intimate, they encourage their hearts and minds to think about sex
more and more. This can lead them into exactly the kind of lustful
thoughts Jesus spoke against.
We want to summarize the advice we gave to our own children
about what to share of their bodies in dating:

The most important general rule is that the more physical intimacy that is reserved for marriage, the better. Some level of kissing
and physical affection can be important when a dating relationship is serious, but it’s easy to go too far and very hard to pull
back on physical intimacy once a boundary is passed.

Don’t go on solitary dates until you’re sixteen or older. When
you’re fifteen (or possibly fourteen, if your parents consent),
group activities are a safer alternative.

Be cautious about physical touching in any other way than very
public and casual gestures such as pats on the back until you’ve
known the other person well for a significant amount of time
(at least several m
­ onths—­talk with a parent or trusted, mature
adult about this).

Save intimate, deep kissing until your dating relationship has
been exclusive and positive for a significant amount of time.
Your level of emotional intimacy and knowledge of your love
interest should far exceed your physical intimacy.
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