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How and When to Tell Your Kids about Sex

married adults who can have deep and meaningful marriages filled
with spiritual, sexual, and emotional intimacy, as well as loving, deep
family relationships and friendships.
Sex as God intended allows a child to live as a mature and healthy single
person before marriage (or instead of marrying) and to one day give the astonishing gift of his or her very self to another in marital union. Healthy sex
education is about preparing children to protect this gift wisely and to give
this gift ­rightly—­to be able to love and trust enough to commit their whole
selves and futures to another and to God. If we as parents prepare them in this
way, we protect them too!
You can prepare your children to experience God’s best in the area of sexuality. You are capable of being a wonderful and effective sex educator, even
if you don’t think so. You just need some advice, encouragement, information, and help to get there. That’s what this book (and the God’s Design
for Sex series as a whole) provides.
We parents rightly want help from churches and schools, but we cannot
abdicate such an important task to others. The primary job is ours. How
do we do it?
Many of us think too small. We think of sex education in terms of “the
talk” with the early teen that will convince him or her not to have sex before
marriage. How could that possibly work? Wherever our children turn, the
secular world inundates them with messages about sexuality, all pointing
them in the wrong direction. Can one discussion at age thirteen or fourteen
counteract all the destructive messages they are receiving? No.
Our vision is for children to grow up having godly, ­age-­appropriate
discussion and teaching about sexuality as a regular part of their relationship with their parents. Why you? Because parents are God’s most important agents for shaping the sexual character of their children. You can
help your child to trust God’s wisdom given for their good throughout
their lives.
Think on two of the most important passages in the Bible about parenting and the beauty of God’s commandments:
Now this is the c­ ommandment—­the statutes and the ­rules—­that
the Lord your God commanded me to teach you, that you may


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