GodsDesign Sampler FULLSAMPLER-compressed - Page 29



T he T welve P rinciples of  C hristian  S ex  E ducation
PRINCIPLE 9: Repetition is critical; repetition is really, really
important.
Sex education is never completed. You may think that you have already covered something, but if your child was not ready to hear it, it is as if you never
said it. Kids need to hear the most important lessons over and over again.
PRINCIPLE 10: Close, positive, and balanced ­parent-­child
relationships are crucial.
Research continues to show that one factor that predicts well that a teenager
is less likely to experiment with sex is that he or she is close to at least one
of the parents. It is not only about the information that is in our children’s
­heads—­it is also about what is in their hearts. Diet experts tell those trying
to lose weight never to go to the grocery store hungry. Why would we let our
kids go out on dates or out into the confusing world of teen relationships
starving for affection and affirmation? A close relationship with a parent
sends them to the relational grocery store full and strong.
Such a close relationship also helps them remember that what they do
sexually is ultimately about who they love. Do they love you as parents and
show that love by honoring what you have taught them? More importantly,
do they love Jesus and honor him with obedience? Because what they do
affects the relationship with us and with Jesus, we must strive to have a balanced relationship characterized both by love and by expectations linked
with accountability and discipline.
PRINCIPLE 11: Sexuality is not everything; keep your perspective.
PRINCIPLE 12: Our God can forgive, heal, and redeem anything.
We present these final two principles together, because they are both about
balance.
We should not make the mistake of focusing so narrowly on sexuality
that it gets out of proportion with life. Yes, the stakes are enormous; a bad
decision can have ­life-­altering consequences. But God does not focus only
on sexuality, and neither should we as parents.
And we should not make the mistake of thinking that bad decisions on
our children’s part will be the end of life as we know it. We worship a God
who brings sweetness out of bitterness, goodness out of evil, even life out
of death. We can parent in the confidence and freedom of knowing that
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