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How and When to Tell Your Kids about Sex
children. We have the right, the obligation, and the joy of following God’s
guidelines for living out our sexual lives and believe that those guidelines
lead the faithful to prospering and experiencing the best of human sexuality.
The Danger of Pornography Today
Many parents are naive about the types of sexual materials that are readily available on the Internet. The old forms of pornography, such as the
prototypical “Playboy pinup,” pales in comparison to what is available
today. With apologies for the explicit language and the repulsiveness of
the behaviors we mention here, today’s pornography commonly includes
­high-­definition depictions of group sex, the infliction of pain and torture
on women, rape, anal sex, oral sex (particularly that ending with the male
ejaculating on the face of the female partner), gay and lesbian sex, and even
the sexual victimization of children.
Pornography poses both spiritual/moral concerns and practical concerns. Morally, we should rightly worry about greater enslavement to lust
and sensualism. Practically, we should be concerned about the negative consequences of any use, but especially habitual use. Christian parents should
do their best to shape children’s moral consciences to reject and prevent any
involvement with pornography.
There are two main spiritual and moral concerns. First, pornography
obviously violates the sacred privacy of individual bodies and of intimate sexual
acts. Modesty is a Christian virtue; our bodies are the temple of the Holy
Spirit, and our sexuality is a divine gift intended for our spouses alone.
Pornography makes a mockery of modesty; it is its antithesis.
Second, pornography universally depicts immoral acts and draws the viewer
into them. There is no market for graphic pictures and images of married couples lovingly meeting each other’s needs in mutual tenderness and
submission (and no loving Christian couple would make such a video).
Immoral, promiscuous, and degrading sexual acts are presented in pornography in such a way as to make them seem thrilling and alluring. These
immoral acts are powerfully imprinted on viewers’ minds.
The pornography consumer is being shaped to desire and participate
mentally in the very acts that the apostle Paul tells us to flee (“Flee from
sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body,
but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body” [1 Corinthians
6:18]). Pornographic images arouse sexual desire and lust, and especially
in men, who are more visually oriented than women,10 the consumer is
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