GodsDesign Sampler FULLSAMPLER-compressed - Page 55

T he D angers of T echnology
Finally, it bears noting that the adolescent learns numerous destructive
lessons that will complicate any future relationship with a spouse. He learns
1. that sexual gratification is something that happens in isolation,
apart from intimate interaction;
2. that he is in total control, rather than sharing control and learning
from his spouse; and
3. that sexual gratification can be instantly turned on with a click,
rather than being connected to romance and intimacy in marriage.
Work to keep our relationships strong. We will elaborate further in the chapters ahead, but as we’ve talked about before, our top priority should be to
stay close to our children. In the words of one expert reviewing the research,
“A warm and communicative ­parent-­child relationship is the most important ­non-­technical means that parents can use to deal with the challenges
of the sexualized media environment.”20
Inoculate and prevent. Understand the vulnerability of your children; anticipate their exposure to pornography and other threats from
technology. As discussed in chapter 13, do your best to inoculate them
against the risks; help them to handle such threats by discussing the kinds
of t­emptations that will come their way. Help them to build up some
immunity to temptation by developing solid reasons to reject it and the
strengths to avoid it. This series of conversations (and it must be a series,
not a onetime lecture) should probably take place well before the teen
Rather than present model dialogues here, we would refer you to chapter 9 of the third book in our God’s Design for Sex series, What’s the Big
Deal?, for a model of how to start. We suggest that you focus on the following points:

In pornography, women are treated like things to be used.

Accessing pornography supports the abusive treatment of women,
especially those who are forced against their will to perform for the

Pornography presents unhealthy, twisted, and evil sexual acts as exciting and pleasurable activities for both participants.
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