HealthyPlusno2Aug30pages (1) - Flipbook - Page 19
“ The urge to use was really strong. The violence I witnessed, the
people I loved that died, the fact that I could die the next time
I used…none of it mattered. I just wanted to use. And I did.
Until the police stepped in”
– Phil, recovering addict
really quickly all the bad aches and sickness just
went away. That’s when I realized that what I
thought was the flu was withdrawal.”
Phil says that realization hit him hard. “Once
I put it together, I was scared. I knew I was in
trouble but, to be honest, I wasn’t interested in
quitting. I didn’t want to feel bad again. So, I
just rolled with it and kept using. Eventually, I
started using cocaine and pills together.”
Despite a growing addiction, Phil managed
to graduate high school on time and enrolled
at Hudson Valley Community College. “At some
point, my mom recognized something wasn’t
right. We didn’t really talk about it, but she
suggested I go to Valley Vista rehab* in Bradford,
VT. I did that to make her happy and I managed
to stay clean for about four months.”
But, faced with the pressure of a two-hour
commute to college, classes, a job, and the need
to make rent, he quickly fell back into old habits.
Despite using, he managed to earn a two-year
degree and found work.
“That’s when I had an accident,” says Phil. “I
injured my back pretty bad. But the upside was
I got clean. I started taking Suboxone to control
my cravings. I landed my dream job where
I worked for five years using my degree
and taking two doses of Suboxone
daily. I had a condo, I had a truck,
and a good job… things were
good.”
Until they weren’t.
Phil needed surgery to address an accidentrelated injury. As part of his prep for the
procedure, his doctor took him off Suboxone for
30 days. In its place he was prescribed opiates.
“Because of my tolerance, I was on a ridiculous
amount of opiates post-surgery. After three
months it tapered to nothing fairly quickly. I was
supposed to go back onto Suboxone but I was
such a mess with withdrawal and the pain of the
surgery. I knew the Suboxone wasn’t going
to cut it. That’s when I got introduced to
heroin, shooting other drugs, and crack
cocaine.”
As consequences mount, an
addiction grows
It wasn’t long until Phil
lost his job. Without
an income, and, with a
growing need for drugs,
he was forced to
return home to
Bennington
MENTAL
HEALTH
* See resource box, p. 19
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