The Ethanol Papers - Paperturn manuscript - Flipbook - Page 498
channels. I let other news channels and outlets slide with dopey information
because that's all you can expect from them. From Fox - because they generally
take the political positions that I'm rooted in - I get very upset when they don't
get a story correct; I think it reflects badly on the rest of the conservative, patriotic American perspective. Plus, when such incorrect information comes from
another person without need of a hair brush, it really rankles me.
Nearly five years ago, Fox did a stupidly wrong story about ethanol. The upside,
I guess, is that it's been five years since they did it (rather than it being an everyday occurrence). That story, which I wrote about at the time, was on a show
hosted by Melissa Francis and featured a guest named Lauren Fix. There was
a clear reason for the dumbness of that report: Too much hair. Their hair must
have clogged their brains. So you can understand my puzzlement with Steve
Hilton; his bald head should be like mine: an unblocked, unfiltered domeshaped antenna capable of receiving all the information required to render righteous pronouncements. I suppose it just goes to show that not all equipment
comes from the manufacturer in perfect condition.
Anyway, Mr. Hilton takes off on ethanol as if it were a dangerous poison, like, you know, like gasoline.
He goes after large ethanol producers as if they were corrupt, greedy, monopolistic corporate monsters like, you
know, like the corrupt greedy monopolistic monster petroleum oil producers.
He goes after government-sponsored biofuel legislation to
clean the air, free us from foreign dependence on oil, and
help American farmers as if it was an ill-considered, restricSteve Hilton
tive, crime-producing Constitutional amendment like, well,
like the Volstead Act (prohibition of the manufacture and
sale of ethanol, that was made possible by the generous bribes paid by John
Rockefeller to politicians).
Are you getting the drift on my unhappiness with Steve Hilton?
Mr. Hilton begins by saying that the federal government forces energy companies to produce a certain amount of ethanol every year. Right away, I think to
myself, what federal government is he talking about? The federal government
here in the United States of America doesn't force anyone to make a certain
amount of ethanol every year. The growing of corn is a voluntary business decision. Distilling that corn into ethanol is a voluntary business decision. And the
