Africa Study Bible Sampler - Flipbook - Page 70
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David, for instance, was also guilty of murder
and adultery and God does not endorse those.
Today, Christians who were polygamists before
becoming believers should pray and seek God’s
guidance on how to treat their wives lovingly so
that their marriage life will glorify God.
Some African governments, which regulate
court marriages, allow marriage between a man
and a man or a woman and a woman. This is contrary to the teaching of the Bible, which says a marriage is to be between a man and a woman (Matthew 19:4-6). And just because some Western or
African governments allow homosexual marriages
does not make them marriages in God’s eyes.
Getting Ready for Marriage
Because marriage was ordained by God, and
because the family is the basic unit of society,
a young man and a young woman going into
marriage must be prepared. The best preparation is to learn from a good example of godly
marriages of parents and others in the community. If love, faithfulness, respect, and helpfulness in marriage are modelled by the older
generation, they will be learned by the younger
generation. The church can also create courses
on marriage that will help young couples to be
more prepared to enter into this covenant.
Young people should wait to have sex until
they are married. It is a sin to have sex before
marriage. God will bless a marriage where the
bride and groom have chosen to remain virgins
until their wedding day. If you are a Christian and
you have engaged in sex without marriage, confess it and stop doing it. God will give you power
to overcome that temptation (2 Corinthians 5:17).
And do not live together without marrying.
Some girls say, “A wonderful man wants to marry
me next year. May I begin staying with him now?”
First Thessalonians 4:3 gives the answer: “God’s will
is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual
sin.” There are men who stay with one girl for weeks
or years but then leave her and stay with another
and then another without marrying any of them.
No matter how well prepared a man and woman think they are for marriage, it is wise to receive
premarital guidance from a pastor or a counsellor. Such counselling sessions uncover the bride
and groom’s assumptions about marriage and
life together. Some of the issues that should be
discussed before marriage include: Are we both
willing to serve Christ together? Do we agree on
how to handle money? Will we both spend time
training and nurturing our children? What will
we do if God does not give us children? Should
either of us get more education? Do we agree
on money, sex, relatives, and friends? During
such sessions, a couple may learn each other’s
strengths and weaknesses. If they discover that
they are not compatible, they may terminate the
courtship. The pastor or counsellor should help
the couple through this difficult time.
Building a Healthy Marriage
Marriage is a complex relationship, and building a healthy marriage involves facing many
challenges. This is why the commitment a
husband and wife make to each other before
their family and ethnic group, before a representative of their government, and before God
and the people of God is so important. When a
person becomes a Christian, there is no promise that the Christian life will be easy. But Jesus
promises that the Holy Spirit will be with us. In
the same way, the Holy Spirit will be with believers in difficult times in their marriage.
Poverty, illnesses, and wars that have ravaged
the continent have compounded the problems
marriage partners experience in Africa. Fidelity
to your spouse, true love, and good communication are all key ingredients that will give stability to your marriage. Here are a few practical
instructions.
A husband must realise that his body is normally stronger than his wife’s body. He should
help his wife in caring for the children and in
doing the work at home. A Christian husband
should never beat or mistreat his wife. God promises that the prayers of the man who helps his
wife will have power (1 Peter 3:7).
God wants a husband and wife to enjoy sex
together (Proverbs 5:18-20) and not to commit
adultery (Hebrews 13:4). Never have sex with a
child, or with your wife’s sister, or with anyone
other than your husband or wife (Leviticus 18:118). Avoid pornography. Looking at pornography (pictures of naked people) will damage a
marriage (Job 31:1). Find wonderful pleasure in
your spouse (Song of Songs 7:1-13). A husband
should satisfy the sex needs of his wife, and she
should satisfy his sex needs. Sometimes a couple
may decide to not have sex for a brief time so
that they can pray more (1 Corinthians 7:3-4).
But after that, they should continue having sex
again. Otherwise, they may fall into adultery.
One way to build a healthy marriage is for
Christian spouses to work together for God.
Even if they do not have a high position in the