Africa Study Bible Sampler - Flipbook - Page 71
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church, they can serve Christ by teaching Sunday
school. They can also find ways to encourage
their pastor. They can gather adults and children
in their home for Bible time (Deuteronomy 6:67). They can go to pray for sick neighbours and
give them vegetables from their garden. Later
they may say to neighbours, “Please come to our
home on Wednesdays for Bible time.” A husband
and wife may work together to repair the house of
a widow. And they can also join others in helping
orphans and refugees.
A healthy marriage is one where the mother
and father both spend time with the children.
Do not say, “I’m too busy with my job; I do not
have time to talk with my children.” Instead, turn
off the television and tell them stories. Do not let
a house-help girl do all the work at home. Work
with your children in the garden. As you work together, ask them about their problems at school.
Encourage them to make friends by being kind.
Help your children to be strong Christians who
show their friends how to become Christians.
A healthy marriage is one with proper boundaries. Often people who ought to strengthen a
marriage become a source of stress. For instance,
a husband’s mother may try to rival his wife
for the affection of the husband. However, the
husband’s number-one love should be his wife.
Sometimes fathers make unrealistic demands on
their children causing tension with their wives.
And children seem to instinctively know how to
play one parent against the other. Parents should
not show more love to one child than to another.
Mothers-in-law should help build the marriages
of their children and daughters-in-law should
learn to respect and trust the mother of their
husband as their own mother.
If a man chooses to marry, he must love and be
kind to his wife (Ephesians 5:25-33; Colossians
3:19; 1 Peter 3:7). If a lady chooses to marry, she
must love and respect her husband (Ephesians
5:22-33; Colossians 3:18).
A Christian who chooses to marry must marry
a true Christian. Do not say to yourself, “I hope
he or she will become a true Christian after we
marry” (2 Corinthians 6:14).
Handling Difficult Issues in Marriage
Some of the factors that tend to make marriages difficult include: marrying an unbelieving spouse, childlessness, HIV/AIDS, financial
challenges, and other issues.
It is important that a Christian marry a believing
spouse (2 Corinthians 6:14). But if you are already
married to an unbeliever, you should not divorce.
The apostle Paul says that the spouse who is a
Christian “brings holiness” to the marriage and
that the unbelieving spouse “might be saved because of you” (1 Corinthians 7:12-16).
Childlessness is another issue which can threaten a marriage, especially in Africa. Some people
in the Bible, such as Abraham and Sarah, Elkanah
and Hannah, and Zechariah and Elizabeth, struggled with childlessness. Certainly you should pray,
trust, and wait patiently upon God. Also consult a
doctor to see if there are medical reasons for your
childlessness. Sometimes medical solutions can
be found, but not always. Also consider adopting
a child. Many children have no living parents and
desperately need a Christian home. Bear in mind
that God knows better than you do what is good
for a couple. Not being able to have children is
not biblical grounds for divorce.
HIV/AIDS, alcohol and substance abuse, sexual
denials, rigid roles and responsibilities, as well as
improper household financial management are
some of the additional problems that families in
Africa face today. In some of our cultures, the community provides emotional, psychological, financial, and moral support to a couple to build stability
in marriage. As a Christian, if you are experiencing
any of these difficulties in your marriage, pray and
seek God’s guidance from the Bible. Also consult a
counsellor and or a pastor for professional advice.
Divorce and Remarriage
Marriage was ordained by God, and the family
is the basic unit of society. God’s intention is for
marriages to be permanent. These principles are
vividly presented in Malachi 2:15-16, which includes these words: “Didn’t the Lord make you
one with your wife? In body and spirit you are
his. And what does he want? Godly children from
your union. So guard your heart; remain loyal to
the wife of your youth. ‘For I hate divorce!’ says
the Lord, the God of Israel. ‘To divorce your wife
is to overwhelm her with cruelty.’”
But we know divorce happens anyway.
Divorce is on the increase in Africa. When
divorce happens, the family and children suffer. It sometimes creates special difficulties for
the woman because our cultures are often male
dominated through patriarchal structures. The
male spouse may easily get remarried, but the
female divorcée sometimes finds it difficult to do
so. Should a particular couple divorce? What if
one spouse is guilty of adultery and is not repentant? What if one spouse abandons the family?