Swindoll's Living Insights Commentary Matthew 1a - Flipbook - Page 35
Standing in Joseph’s Sandals | Matthew 1:18-25
BETROTHAL IN THE FIRST CENTURY
MATTHEW 1:18
Though we may be aware of arranged marriages in some traditional
cultures, especially in the East, most of us in the Western world are
much more familiar with the practice of e
ngagement—a man and
woman meet, date, get serious, and then announce that they have chosen to be married. They set a date, make plans, and have a wedding.
This whole process can generally last anywhere from a few months
to several years. And depending on the couple’s religious and moral
convictions, they may live together or apart during that time; in today’s
world of loosened moral standards and o
n-and-off commitments, living together doesn’t necessarily equate to being married, nor does
being engaged necessarily mean there will ever be a wedding.
Regardless, our modern, Western approach to courtship and marriage would have seemed bizarre to the first-century Jewish way of
thinking. Rather than undergoing a process in which a period of dating
was followed by engagement and then a wedding, men and women in
the first century approached marriage via the concept of betrothal.
The Jewish marriage process can be divided into three stages.11 First,
a man and woman were matched together, usually by their fathers.
The couple and their families then took time to become acquainted
and approve the match, after which they entered a formal contractual
agreement that included some kind of dowry or exchange of property
passed from the woman’s family to the man’s family. Once the contract
was signed and sealed, the man and woman entered the second stage:
betrothal. Betrothal essentially amounted to a waiting period, somewhat similar to what we might call engagement, but with the important
distinction that a contract had already been signed, making betrothal
final in a sense similar to what we think of as marriage itself.
When the waiting period had elapsed and the groom’s new living
quarters had been prepared to receive the bride, the third stage transpired: the wedding ceremony. This included a public presentation of the
bride and groom before family and friends, the sealing of their union,
and a celebration with a grand feast.12
The severing of an arrangement of betrothal would have been a big
deal in Jewish culture—essentially a breach of contract!
thought her extended stay with her relative Elizabeth in Judea would
be a perfect opportunity to “send her away secretly” (Matt. 1:19). He
could just send word that Mary should stay in Judea and not return to
Nazareth. Perhaps Joseph could move out of town himself and relocate
to his family’s ancestral land in Bethlehem. Before long, nobody would
remember that he had been betrothed to Mary. Or by the time they realized she had given birth out of wedlock, nobody would care . . . maybe.
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