Wellspring Magazine (FINAL.NOVEMBER)) - Flipbook - Page 4
Thanksgiving 2018, I was 23 years old, athletic, and careful
about my diet and routine exercise. I was on the cusp
of starting a new career. I had accepted a job as a flight
attendant, expecting doors to open for me to travel around
the world. I was moving to a new city and anticipating the
adventure of independence. I had dreams and goals! This
couldn’t be happening to me! I was in denial. I felt crushed.
Nothing was certain anymore.
In the week following my initial scan, I was due to report
to my assigned base in Chicago to take my first flight as
a freshly trained flight attendant. Instead, I found myself
at The Cancer Treatment Center of Chicago, confirming
my diagnosis. The second round of scans and blood work
further proved the cancer’s invasion and overwhelming
presence throughout my body and bone marrow. After
a biopsy, the official diagnosis came on Dec. 3, 2018. Life
flipped upside down. On my very first day of work, I called
out sick, and my flight attending career was grounded. The
idea that I was a healthy and strong 23-year-old ready to
take on the world shattered, and I returned home to Miami
to face the cancer challenge instead.
Rebecca Barrios
Wellspring Programs & Education Manager
Becca’s story
“The scan shows swollen lymph nodes in your chest,
abdomen, and pelvis. It’s throughout your entire body.
Our recommendation is for you to see an oncologist,
immediately.”
I stared blankly at the Resident ER Doctor standing in
the doorway delivering the news of my first CT scan. Was
he talking to me? He couldn’t possibly be! He must be
delivering news to the wrong person or the wrong room.
In that moment, I couldn’t comprehend the gravity of
what the doctor was saying. I watched as the expressions
on my parent’s faces shifted.
“It” was cancer. Stage 4 Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.
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I didn’t know if cancer would ultimately
take my life, but it had certainly taken my
life as I knew it.
Six months of intense chemotherapy commenced
immediately, and the reality of loss was poignant. I lost my
hair. I lost my job, my dream, and my independence. I lost
my physique, my appetite, and my sense of health. I was so
sick that at times I lost the ability to handle my own basic
self-care. I even lost some of my friends who were unable to
cope with my new diagnosis. I was convinced that if I truly
allowed myself to think about all the change and loss I was
experiencing, I would cry and never stop. While many of my
friends were starting new jobs, traveling, getting married,
and starting families of their own, I began to shut down
my emotions and thoughts about my own future. I was
struggling to survive physically, emotionally, and spiritually.