Wellspring Magazine (FINAL.NOVEMBER)) - Flipbook - Page 5
Rebecca and her mother, Beverley Barrios.
Denial, emotional exhaustion, and grief accompanied
the physical illness. Fear in the present and uncertainty
about the future crept in and began to limit my ability
to see new options for my life. Then, leaving the Sylvester
Comprehensive Cancer Center and Chemotherapy Clinic
in Miami for the last time, I was blindsided by survivor’s
guilt knowing that several of the patients I knew there
would probably never do the same.
In the Fall of 2019, while waiting for the news of my
remission, I was invited to attend Wellspring’s Restore
Resilience Retreat. Physically, I was recovering and feeling
healthier, but mentally and emotionally I was stuck,
scared, and scarred. Anxiety and depression had shown
face and while ambivalence and apathy crowded me, I
decided to attend.
Restore Resilience Retreat was eye
opening, emotionally challenging, and life
changing.
I discovered an accepting environment that empowered
me to face the reality of my recent illness and all of its
trappings as a trauma. While I struggled with thoughts
that I needed to “snap out of it,” “be happy, I’m cured,”
or “move on,” the therapists and staff at Wellspring
helped me normalize the feelings and emotions I had
surrounding my journey.
Restore provided the space, verbiage, and tools for me to
honestly face and feel all that I had experienced. Through
the power of group sharing, I realized I was not alone
in my feelings. Experiential art activities allowed me to
express myself when I didn’t have the words to do so. I
also discovered and addressed other places in my heart
that I never knew needed healing. Finally, I was able to
release my fears and cry; tears had limits too. Although I
had experienced physical healing, I learned that I needed
mental and emotional healing as well. I could be resilient.
It was graspable.
I was able to reflect on my trauma in a safe place with
accepting therapists and recognized that my moments of
overwhelming helplessness had also been accompanied
by God’s provisions for me and His goodness through it
all. My family had been ever present, a daily strength and
constant reminder that I wasn’t alone. True friends rallied
around me all those months, crawling into bed to snuggle
with me. They were His sustaining touches. Scriptures I had
heard my whole life resonated more deeply and sustained
my heart through the harshest days. Exodus 14:14, “The Lord
will fight for you; you need only to be still” was a verse I held
with me throughout the months of treatment. I survived
cancer, but I was beginning to see that “wellness” was so
much more!
It has now been 4 years since I was diagnosed with cancer,
and I am celebrating 3 years of being in remission! I am
grateful to the professionals, but ultimately, I give God
the glory for my cancer-free clearance - as the Creator,
Sustainer, and Healer in my life. As He provided the medical
expertise, I see now that He had also been guiding me to
the people that would intervene and help my heart and
mind to heal as well. Both journeys, the physical and mental,
required acceptance of reality, a willingness to participate
in the process of healing, and embracing the resources and
people who helped to facilitate my recovery to wholeness.
I am a survivor! I AM resilient.
I am not flying the friendly skies as a flight attendant, but
I now serve as the Programs and Education Manager at
Wellspring Counseling. I am an advocate for wellness in
others, and a believer that physical healing ought to be
accompanied by spiritual and emotional healing. Cancer
does not define me, but as a part of my story, it has served
to redirect me to new beginnings and an appreciation for
more meaningful living.
For more about
Becca’s story, watch
her testimony
with the Sylvester
Comprehensive
Cancer Center
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